Lesson Four

The year between Jennifer's first and second birthday is the year I recall as the "time of the desending darkness" for my family. Jennifer's father was diagnosed with at least two mental illnesses the month I learned I was pregnant with her (February 2001) but he was a loving , functional husband /father until she was almost 1 year old..then he fell into the "If I dont take the prescribed medicine, I'm not really sick" mentality and refused to continue taking medication . Then, the month before she turned one, a well-meaning judge gave him custody of a son he had prior to our marriage. Jennifer's first birthday party was attended by me and the 3 children who lived here and my parents.. he left the house 30 minutes before the party because" he had library books that HAD to be returned than INSTANT." Paternal grandfather REFUSED to attend , paternal grandmother and his sister purposefully came an hour AFTER the scheduled party(Jennifer was asleep by then as it was 8:30pm). That was the last birthday party I planned which included his family. Lesson Four:Not everyone is able to accept and love unconditionally a child who is "different" and this can be extremely hurtful and painful when the individuals who can't "rise" to the challenge are family members.

Lesson Three

When my first child was born I was enrolled at the University of Louisville earning my Masters in Education. Jessica, my first born, was 2 when I became a full time teacher. I was so engaged in taking care of a young child, going to school, dealing with daily life,,the first 2 years just "slipped away" as time does during extremely emotional times of our lives. Well, Jennifer's first year of life was no different than Jessica's in that respect. Babies need their parent's full attention and Jennifer was no exception. There were memorable exceptions..the parade of First Steps Therapists who were my saviors, they came in and worked with Jennifer so I could actually "sit down" for a couple hours a week. The attention to details I took for granted with Jessica, such as having to buy 45 different kinds of bottle nipples and then sippy cups later that year to find the ONE Jennifer could drink from. The struggle to travel with a baby with reflux and the CONSTANT feeding the first six months of life because she could only keep down about 2 ounces of formula at a time. There were some extra challenges during that first year because of that annoying extra chromosome, but, the real journey lay ahead, I just didn't know it yet. Lesson three- Take nothing for granted, life events will happen on their own accord, you are not in charge.

Lesson Two

Jennifer was born the day before Thanksgiving, 2001. She had to stay in NICU(Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for 33 days so the day I got to bring her home was Christmas Day, 2001. The 33 days she was in there were the longest 33 days of my life. She was born with a "hole in her heart"(thats the complete non medical explanation). Basically, without the dedicated doctors, nurses, lab technicians, orderlies, social workers, etc that worked hard to keep Jennifer alive during those first fews days of her life,,this all would have ended there, almost 6 years ago in that year the United States turned sideways and we learned about terrorism in an unforgetable 30 minutes. Lesson Two: Babies born with down sydrome are not seen as a positive event by many people in the medical field, however, if you and the child prevail, they will honor their professions and do the best they can.